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This really fucking sucks… COVID-19 is literally a subconscious, subliminal death sentence. It’s really hitting a point to where it’s affecting me daily… And I do not fuck with it. I know there will no longer be a sense of previous “normalcy”, but this is fucking ridiculous. I feel like I’m questioning everything around me. I really wish there were places where I could go freely without the fear of “am I going to get infected?” Or “do people around me have it and is it safe to be here right now?” Or anything like that. 1st world problems… I know. I also just finished watching the social dilemma on Netflix and it was very eye-opening. I knew it was going to be eye-opening before even watching it and I have some hesitation on it, but I went along watching it anyway. A lot of what I had speculation on was confirmed and as for social media, I’m going to have to take a massive break away from it finally. And by a massive break I mean not so much deleting my accounts entirely because I do want to see my past experiences when i revisit them; but more so deleting the apps for at least a month. This change is necessary. I’ve only heard good things about taking a break away from social media and I do want to experience that for myself. This documentary is very well put together by the way because it actually had former high-raking employees from different social platforms illustrating the horrors behind the scenes of these platforms. And the scary thing is, is that some of these things are not even behind the scenes, but blatant right in front of our face, but we’re too brainwashed and manipulated to see it. I do not want to be another statistic to this “super computer“. I highly recommend you watching it if you can stomach the reality of what’s going on and what has been going on for basically a decade.

Back to what I was saying before…

It’s really difficult for me to process everything that’s happening around me since COVID-19. I really do miss live concerts and it’s really hitting me hard in my spirit that I did not take advantage of pursuing music like I said I was going to years ago and experience performing in front of crowds like I wanted to. I feel like I have failed as an artist doing so. I had all the time to make it a reality, but I let my fears and endless planning hold me back. Everything is just hard right now… I just don’t know how to handle my current situation right now. I really wish I could have a separate creative studio I can go to whenever I feel like I can create all day and all night. That is a goal I would love to pursue, but with everything happening in the world I don’t see it happening for a long while which pisses me off. Seriously… What the hell is happening in this world?! Everything I’ve been raised to believe and what I’m currently going through has been a lie… Which I knew for a while, but as the days go on I’m finding a new thing that I was lied to about.

...Like what the fuck...

Well, I want to end this blog for now only because I feel like it’s a bit lengthy and I don’t want to break your brain with all of this verbiage LMFAO… Unless you like that sort of thing :)

I have to throw a joke in there somehow, right?

Anyways, thank you for reading this blog.

I hope that you’re safe and if you do feel like you relate to what I’m talking about, feel free to give me a message.

Until then, see you next time.

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