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  • gh0xttherebel

i̵̫͆̾g̶͙̘̉n̴̳͑ị̸̔̓t̵͍͒ȅ̵͎̭͒ ̴̛̳͠ť̵͉͕̈h̷̞̙͋e̸̫̺͝ ̵̙̺́̿f̴̭̪̀̐l̶̞͙͆̓a̴͎̒m̶̤̓̽e̶̙̞̕

Wow! Another year has gone by and another has begun? I don’t know if I can say that correctly because it doesn’t feel like 2021 for me. I still feel like we’re living in a part 2 of 2020, which in a lot of aspects that’s true. But, going through this new year, there’s something I want to achieve every single day.

I want to pursue self discovery.

I’ve recently been having talks about basically expressing myself a whole lot more. In layman’s terms, I haven’t been myself for a long while. A lot of it is because I had the looming fear of whatever I say having damaging affects to whatever person I’m talking to. I take other peoples' feelings and health into consideration way before I take my own. Thin kk about that episode of Avatar where Aang tried firebending for the first time and burned Katara on accident. On paper that sounds amazing, right? But if you do too much of that, you lose yourself and don’t have a good sense of self identity. I’m going to change that. I need to cater to my Aries more. There is a big fire within me that is screaming at me constantly to just be truthful, open, and honest, but I push it to the side because it’s one of those things where it’s so intense that I don’t want it to come out aggressive when I express myself. I have a LONG history of not expressing myself properly growing up in my family, but I need to change that. I need to be bluntly honest in almost every situation I’m in and to be confident that I always have everyone’s best interest in mind. I can’t sugarcoat anything anymore. Sugarcoating just makes a sweet situation bitter and poor internally for me.

That’s a lot of wordbage, right? 🤣

I know I know same.

Recently, I expressed myself towards a certain group of friends of mine about trying out a new dietary lifestyle for personal reasons. But my intrigue was met with criticism and heavy opinions...amongst friends. That instantly rubbed me the wrong way. After days of reflecting on the situation, I’m realizing that there are some people I can't tell personal things to regardless if they’re close or not. I’m looking for strong and stable support systems. 2020 was supposed to be the year of clarity, but I feel as 2021 will be the year to make up the lack thereof. This will be the year of clear, confident, and concise SELF EXPRESSION. No more sugarcoating with the pun intended because I can’t even do that🤣🤣

I hope as you’re reading this, you can express yourself more in situations that you feel like you have no air to breathe. It’s all about HAPPINESS in my eyes. Forget everything else for a second, “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO IN YOUR LIFE?!” And then take it from there!

I hope your holidays and new year was pleasant and if not, make today make up for it. You may not know how, and that’s OK too! Make moves that cater to yourself, your spirit, your mind, your heart, your body, everything.

Self discovery is important for everyone. Discover who you are and the world can’t hurt you as much because you are confident in what you are, what you do and what you provide the world and your close circle.

Thank you for reading this blog and I’ll see you in the next one! 🖤

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