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it's been a min...

Wow… it has been a LONG time since I’ve made a blog on this website. Trust me, it’s something that I would like to be more consistent on doing especially since I’ve been plugging my website for virtually every video this year.🥲

Thank you for being patient with me on that endeavor...

Now, to the meat and potatoes of this blog.

This year…has been something for sure. A lot of ups, and a lot of downs. When it was good, it was really good and vice versa, when it was bad, it was horrible! Life is just like that a lot of the times, but this year specifically was harsh for a lot of people...

A lot of connections, got altered, severed, destroyed, burnt, questioned, everything.

There really wasn’t an in-between. A lot of great growth has happened this year though, which I’m very grateful for. On a more personal note, I’ve been actively working on my bad drinking habits this year to the point I took all of February off drinking. It was a struggle, but I’m grateful that at least I tried to make a change for myself. My drinking habits stemmed from a lot of pain and hurt in my past that I really didn’t discover until I hit certain points this year. My drinking habit definitely affected people, and I’ve made great strides into not only changing myself, but to make sure and reassure that people can be safe around me and trust me. Some people noticed the change, which I am very grateful for. However, some people did not appreciate nor support me in ways that I wish they would've. That’s fine though. I’m congratulating myself, which is something I don’t do enough to be honest.

With the whole “new year, new me”, that’s definitely not my mentality going into 2023. I am gingerly walking into the new year with “whatever happens, happens”, but also actively telling the world and myself that I will become a force BEFORE going into 2023. 2022 has definitely taught me that I am still learning, still growing, and to be more truthful and honest with who I am as a person/spirit. I am not all glitters, sunshine, rainbows, and a force of positivity. I do have my dark sides, moments, aggressive natures, but I do make sure that they are not what defines me all together. I want to really discover my “balance” in 2023. Taking the good with the bad, vice versa, learning and growing from my experiences and moments, and being 100% myself. I recognize that this is not going to please everyone that I am associated with or come in contact to going forward, but it’s something that the universe has been screaming at me essentially FOREVER! At least I know within the core of my spirit that I’m doing everything with good intentions, and I do not want to hurt anyone nor myself, but sometimes you got to break some eggs to make an omelette!

¯\_( ಠ_ಠ)_/¯

Not going to lie to you… I’ve been in a depressive slump for the last several weeks due to the holidays, being burnt out, connections being severed, vital bridges being burnt, family stresses, very dark thoughts, and everything in between. But, still here. “Everything happens for a reason“…boy I hate that fucking cliché with a passion, but I understand. Everything DOES happen for a reason, and I may not know what the reason is when it happens, but I know that if I continue to live and do what I need to do, eventually I will find out what the reason was. I am trying to reestablish my faith in that.

This blog is becoming incredibly long, and I hope that it makes sense because to be honest, I am using the speech-to text-function and my phone loves translating my English to another language 🥲🤣😭🙃

If you read up until this point, I am extremely grateful.

With that being said, I am going to end this blog post for now, and hopefully I can remember to make consistent blog posts in the future. Hopefully, more geared towards motivational thinking, positive affirmations, engagement with whom ever is on the email list, etc. etc. etc.

I hope your holidays were good, and safe to you, and if they weren’t, know that you weren’t alone in that endeavor. “You’re never truly alone“, boy ain’t that the truth, whether that be positive or negative.

May we go into this new year with more growth, more challenges that are geared towards more beautiful growth, more money because we all need it to be honest, more love, more support, more REALNESS with all of those said, and more everything.

I love you all and remember to drink your water.

“No Matter How Much It Hurts, Move Forward.”

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